“It’s 4 days of my life that I will remember forever, I will love him forever and I will forever be in awe of my friend, her strength and courage.”
Olivia’s Story
I will never forget the day my friend had her little boy and the days leading up to it.
I was in work constantly checking in to see if she had the call from the hospital to say they have a bed and she needs to go up to be induced, excitement building as the day goes on I was so excited for her. The text came she had the call she was going up how exciting soon she will meet her little baby, at the time we didn’t know the gender, was the baby a boy or a girl? I’d bet girl.
Time ticked on and no update yet I thought it couldn’t be too much longer now. Home time came I picked up my things and went to leave the office just before I opened the door to leave I got a text, ‘I’ve lost the baby’. I couldn’t believe what I was reading I thought this can’t be true it must be predictive text correcting a word I don’t understand how, why, what? I get in my car in a daze, the tears come streaming down my face and I can’t help but feel heartbroken for my friend, I’d never be able to understand how she must be feeling I just want to hold her and make it all better what do I say? What do I do? My heart is broken for the baby I wouldn’t be able to watch grow up, my heart is broken for my friend and her partner who have lost their baby.
I knew I had to be there for her the best I could, even if I couldn’t physically be there. I messaged every day not wanting to ask are you ok because I knew she wasn’t and she wouldn’t be for a long time but I just wanted her to know I was there and thinking of her and if she needed anything from me I would be there.
Delivery day came, I was in the house making a brew in the kitchen when I got the message she’s given birth to a beautiful baby boy I breakdown it feels even more real now I slump to the floor crying my eyes out I grieve for the baby boy I’ve been so looking forward to meet, for the past 9 months, at the same time I can’t help but think what my friend must be going through. The pain and hurt more than what I feel and it hurts so much for me. My partner comes in to comfort me I show him the message because I can’t bring myself to tell him, I’m so overcome with emotions.
I message my friend she asks if I want a picture, of course I would love to see her baby boy and he is just the cutest, he looks like he is sleeping. The next day she asks if I would like to go and meet him at the hospital whilst they are still there with him, I don’t hesitate I jump in my car and make way up I cry all the way there thinking I don’t want to breakdown in front of her.
I get to the room where she is and her family are with her and there he is lying in the cot just like he is sleeping. I got to hold him, cuddle him and speak to him. He is just beautiful and my heart aches for them all, all I can think of is how brave and amazing my friend is how well she is handling the situation and how lucky I am to be able to hold and meet this gorgeous baby boy.
Its 4 days of my life that I will remember forever, I will love him forever and I will forever be in awe of my friend, her strength and courage.
I will never stop thinking about him and he will forever be a part of my life, I may have only been able to hold him in my arms for an hour but I will hold him in my heart forever.
#nationalbereavedparentsday2021 #achildofmine #keepingtheirmemoryalive #NBPD21 #acom